Waiting for Him
by yankeeg817
Summary: Ok so this is my TommyJude story, taking place after the season 2 finale...Ok I don't own Instant Star....if I did Tommy and Jude would have gotten together....that would probably be boring so I guess it is good that I don't own it....sorry for the rant.
1. Revolving Memories

Chapter 1

"You really need to get up...come on...Jude!"

"Five more minutes Sadie, please?" Jude said pulling the blanket over herself.

"Jude, you said that an hour ago. It is 9:00 in the mourning, you have been like this all summer, please get up?" Sadie stated as she pulled the blankets from her sister.

Jude responded with an annoyed grunt, pulling the pillow to her face.

"Jude I am not kidding...Darius wants you down at the studio, you haven't been there in weeks. Lets go!" she said with as much enthusiasm as

she could muster, which was very little in these circumstances.

"Come on you love it there..."

"Not anymore, now please leave me alone...Sadie... just please" She pulled her blanket from Sadie's hands and rolled over.

"...Fine..."

Sadie walked from the room with a worried sigh. She reached for her cell, as she closed the door, and dialed a number that she had become all to familiar with in the past three months.

"Hey this is Tom Quincy, I'm not able to pick-up, you know what to do..."

Beep

"Tommy...this is another message from Sadie, I have sent you thousands in the past three months but this one is a little different, it is about Jude, she won't get out of bed...s-she

won't eat, did you know she skipped her release party...I am really w-worried...I am scared that she is going to really hurt herself, and I know it has something to do with you

leaving...Tommy, you need to come back, she needs you, we all do ok?...I don't know how to stress this any more...just when you get this please call me back..please..."

Beep

"...for Jude."

**Flashbacks**

Jude was standing in the lobby of G-major.

_"First of all I am doing this as a favor to Georgia, I dont care about you or your wack contest...second, the name is Tom Quincy, don't you ever call me Little Tommy Q ever again."_

_"Sorry"_

She was sitting on her front steps.

_"Don't quit...cause you're it girl, you're the real thing...you're ever better."_

Laying on girls bathroom floor at school

_"I believe in you."_

At her family's house in the country

_"The attraction...mutual..."_

At Shay's concert

_"NO! Jude,..Go home get some rest.."_

_"Ok"_

On the Darius's set of the "Waste my time" Video

_"Ok...well..what if...hypothetically..this is my first real kiss...with someone who's...uh...who's kissing me back...I just..I want it to count you know."_

_"Then..hypothetically...it will but this won't be it..look..Jude a real kiss...it isn't the lips it's in the heart...and if yours isn't in this one with Shay...then it doesn't count."_

_"Thanks...Tommy." _

In her Kitchen

"_Wait...he lies to you, and I'm still the bad guy"_

In the alley behind G-major

_"I'm so tired of falling for guys that don't fall back...it hurts..."_

_"..Jude...I..."_

_"You all say the nicest things...you're so great...you're so nice...but none of you wanna date me...so you wanna help me Tommy...tell me what I do wrong...tell mewhy I'm so easy to give up..and maybe I can fix it?_

_"You areasking the wrong guy"_

_He grabs her for a mind-blowing kiss_

_"You should go Jude."_

_"Tommy don't..."_

_"...I'll see you inside...ok?...just go."_

_"...Ok..."_

In Tommy's office

"_Either I have to quit working with you, or I can stay, but we have to agree that, that kiss had never happed." _

_"No"_

_"Say it...Jude... say it"_

_"Ok...it never happened..ok"_

Back stage after "Skin"

_"That was an incredible song...Jude...not exactly how I meant to inspire you..."_

_"What do you want Tommy?"_

_"To apologize..for real this time..but hurting you is the last thing I ever wanted to do..."_

_"A lot of people have been saying that lately...Get over yourself..not everything is about you."_

_Slam door_

In the studio

_"What are you scared?"_

_"Pft...no"_

_"Oh Tommy thats so adorable"_

_"Okay so peform one of my songs, there just as yours as they are mine."_

In the alley behind G-major(I think)

_"You went behind my back, meddled in my past, there is no us...anymore Jude"_

At her first albom release party

_"Did you love her, Tommy, more than me?"_

_"You can't ask me that Jude."_

_"I'm asking"_

"Jude, it is now 12:30pm. Darius called, he said that if you don't get down to the studio soon, you can find new management...Jude?...Jude?...JUDE?"

"WHAT...Sadie, I am not dead I just want to be left allone, why can't you just leave me alone."

"Jude...please, get up everyone is worried about you...please..just talk to me.."

"...Um...my last words to...T-tommy..." She stated in barely a whisper.

"Jude this is unhealthy, you..."

"Sadie I don't need a doctor, I just need to be left alone, ok?"

"..Ok..."

She quitely shut the door, and reached for her cell. _This is becoming a habit._

"Hey this is Tom Quincy, I'm not able to pick-up, you know what to do..."

Beep

"Tommy...it's me Sadie _again_...I just left Jude and I think she is getting worse...so whatever you did to make this situation worse, undo...I know you Tommy, when it

comes to Jude you are a screw-up, and you are an ass, but she always forgives you...and..." Her anger rose as she talked. "What you did was beyond horrible, you just

left her...and the way you did was wrong...and...and...why did you even bother saying bye..." Her voice was becoming shakey as she continued. "Jude is worth so much

more than this...and you...you treated her...like garbage...but for some weird reason, she alway chose you...she was in love with you...and you loved her..."

Beep

"...so why?..."

**Flashback**

At Darius's boat party

_"I can't even look at you right now.."_

_"...Tommy.."_

Sitting in Tommy's viper

_"This past summer, all I wanted to do was get back in the studio with you..I missed working with you, I just gonna say it..I missed...you...okay."_

In the lobby of G-major

"_Well, you better start de-frogging fast, we've got A sophmore albom to start...hmm...really does make it soft"_

On the fireescape of her studio space

"_Just promise me one thing...If the door in there is ever locked..."_

_"I'll just kick it down."_

In her back yard, next to the rented hot tub.

_"I trusted you.."_

_"I didn't do anything"_

_"You were the one I was supposed to be that I believed in.."_

_"...And I didn't do anything."_

_"Stop lying to me and go home."_

Pushes him in the hottub (GO JUDE!)

Trapped in the "Crome Cat"

_"When our lips touched and...but oh wait then you started dating my sister."_

_"What do you want me to do...Jude...huh?"_

Sitting on the couch at the "Crome Cat"

_"People they don't always see who you really are, but I need you to try. Believe me...in me...again."_

_"I want to but..."_

_"Sadie and me...we weren't right..."_

_"...Why?" _

_"...You know exactly why.."_

"...yeah..."

"Jude...it is now 3:45pm, I wanted to see if you wanted to go out?...Maybe do some shopping, you are a senior this year, that calls for a wardrobe makeover...how

about it?..."

"No."

"Come on...Jude, you can not stay in this bed all day."

"Yes I can."

"Jude..."

"No...Sadie...why can't you just leave me alone."

"Because, you are my sister, and no matter how much you push and yell...I love you."

"Nice..." Jude stated with sarcasm

"I am worried about you, and so is everybody else. So you need to get up..NOW."

"NO. now go away Sadie." she said crying

"Jude...I...fine...go back to sleep." She retreated from the room with a look of both sadness and defeat.

"Hey this is Tom Quincy, I'm not able to pick-up, you know what to do..."

Beep

"It's me, Sadie, this is the last phone call I will ever make to you Tom Quincy..for the third time today I left my sister crying over you and that hurts. She doesn't

deserve to go through this, she deserves more than this...more than you...you hurt my baby sister, I used to beat up kids on the playground for hurting her, and I

really started out wanting to hurt you, but i have come to the conclusion, that you are not worth it...I just wanted to tell you...that she is gonna be fine..we are all

gonna be fine with out you..she may be hurting now but eventually that will fade, but you will have the rest of your life to regret it. We were the best things you ever

had...and you messed it up just like you mess up..."

Beep

"...everything..."

**Flashback**

Outside her house, after Tommy drops her, Speid, and Jamie off.

_"I believe in you...Tommy"_

In the studio

_"So...you ready to do this."_

_"You ready to show me how it's done."_

_"There are so many inappropriate answers to that question."_

_"Don't..ok..I gotta focus."_

_"Ok..I got it."_

In the studio

_"It just doesn't feel right."_

_"It's romantic, it's got passion..."_

_"It's about you...when we were on tour, coming home and seeing you, was about all I could think, and I wanted to put those feelings away...to stay safe."_

_"Can you bring them back out again"_

_"Not with you staring at me like that"_

In Darius' Office

"_We did it"_

Hug turns in to one hot make-out session.

Jude leaves Tommy dazed

Back in Tommy's office

"_Sometimes you can be so twenty four.."_

_"I took a chance..sue me."_

_"Taking chances seems to be all the rage these days."_

Back stage

_"You're a good driver...much better than the time I let you drive my viper."_

_"I was just learning.."_

_"Learning really fast...and than really slow...and then really fast."_

_"I am gonna go backstage, where everyone knows, that Jude equals smooth."_

_"You want to go dinner."_

_"What!"_

_"Dinner..Let me..take you...to dinner...somplace nice."_

At a restaurant

_"I thought you weren'' gonna show...aren't you gonna sit?"_

_"I have to go...I don't think I'll be coming back."_

_"...Just...sit...talk to me."_

_"I got a flight to catch...bye"_

_"Tom?..Tom?..Tommy?...TOMMY?"_

"Jude...hey...I brought you some pizza..I will leave it right here..." She put the plate on the nightstand and walked to the door

"Sadie...what am I gonna do? I'm lost without him"

"What do you mean, you aren't lost, you are the strongest girl I know, you sang you heart out when half the school walked out at your concert, you did it again while people threw

beer and toilet paper at you at the Shock FM concert, and you got in a car with Tommy numerous times. There is nobody out there who would risk his driving more than once."

The only reaction she got back were silent tears.

"Ok, not the best time for Tommy jokes...the point is with or without him, you still are the single strongest girl I know.."

"Thanks Sadie, but I still don't have it."

Sadie just stared at her baby sister as she sobbed into her pillow._ She really was in love with him. Tommy where ever you are...you've crushed her. _

For the fourth time that day she dialed the only number she could think of.

"Hey this is Tom Quincy, I'm not able to pick-up, you know what to do..."

Beep

"...This is like my zillionth message today, and I'm sure you know who it is and why I am calling...so I will cut to the chase ok? You are an Ass...and what you did was

wrong...Jude did not deserve this...nobody here did, and quite frankly..." she was cut off by a sob "...Y-you...know...all...of this...and I...can...say..it again...but I don't

think...it will...get..thro-ugh...so...I guess...all I have to...say is...you hurt her bad...and she was...dest-royed by it...you knew that...she was in...l-love with you and

you...no!...what I wanted to...say..is..un-unless you have...the best reason...for leaving...d-don't come back..."

Beep

"...ever..."


	2. New Plans

Sorry for the short wait, but I had a minor case of writer's block. Again I do not own instant star or the song there's us but I hope you all like it. On to the story

Chapter 2

**You have 17 missed calls.**

Tommy sighed as he looked up from his phone.

"Tommy?" Came a small voice from the doorway.

"Maddy, what are you doing up?"

"Thirsty.." She walked over to him

"Alright..let's go get some milk."

Tommy walk the little girl to the kitchen and sat with her as she drank her milk. He then took her back to her room, she had just fallen asleep when Tommy heard a familar tune coming from his room.

"Kwest.." he whispered closing the door to Maddy's room.

"Kwest? Hey what's up?"

"Finally picking up, I see? I have left too many messages T."

"Kwest, man come on, it hasn't been like that."

"Really?"

"...Did you talk to Darius? You know explain everything?" He stated eager to change the subject.

"Yeah, he wanted to hear it from you, but he said you still have a job at Gmajor, but there will be consequences for just walking out like that..."

Tommy had the distinct feeling that Kwest was holding something back.

"Kwest, what is it?"

"uh...T. when are you planning on coming back?" Totally ignoring the question.

"Just as soon as everything is in order..." Tommy was distracted by the picture sitting on his nightstand.

"Hey Kwest how is...how's Jude?"

"Truthfully...I don't know, she hasn't been back to the studio since you left, I asked Sadie, but she just gave me a pained look. If I had to guess, I would think that she is crushed."

Tommy closed his eyes. That is not what he wanted, when he left he tried to be as harsh as possible so insteading of hurting, she would hate him.

_**Flashback**_

_"I thought you weren't coming...are you gonna sit?"_

_"I have to leave...I'm sorry...I don't think I'll be coming back."_

_"Just sit...talk to me."_

_"I got a flight to catch..." The look on her face was of pure disgust. "...bye." _

_"Wha...so you're not coming back...Tom..Tommy...Tommy..Tommy..Tommy..Tommy..TOMMY..Tomm..." She pounded on the car door as he sped off. He could see her in his rear-view mirror as he drove. She looked as if she was going to breakdown in the middle of the street. _

_"It is for the best, Jude, really it is.." He mumbled under his breath "You will get over it." _Oh how wrong he had been.

"Tom...Tommy are you still there...Look check your messages man, Sadie said she left you a ton of them...I have to go, but call me soon, ok?"

"Sure Kwest.."

"Oh..and Tommy?"

"Yeah.."

"Darius also said that you may have your job back...but you have to talk to the artists to make sure they still want you to produce them...Now I am sure all of them would love to have you back...but Tom...you should definitely check."

"Kwest?"

"Just call Jude."

Tommy had just processed that thought when he heard the click on the other end.

Tommy turned on the radio before laying down.

"Alright, now I know most of you are about to go to dreamland, but before you do, here is the newest hit "There's us" from Canada's first instant star, Jude Harrison, and remember you are listening to the only station that gives you Latest and Greatest, that's KRSQ 101.9 FM.

_There's me, looking down at my shoes_

_The one smiling like the sun, that's you._

He listened carefully to the lyrics.

_There's us going on about a band _

_Working out how we'd play our hand_

Tommy didn't need the radio to remind him of Jude's voice. It had been three months, but Tommy still remembered every note she sang.

_Some words are best unsaid _

_Some love is not really love at all_

_Keep everything I shared with you _

_There's us_

Tommy got the feeling that the song was about them, Jude and himself. Most of her songs seemed to show some connection to them.

_Freeze-Frame _

_I am not about to cry_

_It's too late for us to change why try._

He could feel her pain radiating through the speakers. Tommy closed his eyes and tried to drown out her voice but it was no use, he was drowning in memories.

_Somewhere between then and now I looked away_

_When you said we'll never change_

_But if you think but might've been _

_You'll loose today and we've got songs to play._

He looked over at the picture on his nightstand again, he didn't even have to look at it to know what it was of...Jude had just finished her bootleg recording of "Not Standing Around" in her new studio apartment and Mason snagged a picture of him and Jude eating red licorice and laughing.

_There's us...There's us _

Tommy was brought back to reality as Jude's voice drifted through the radio and the song came to an end. Tommy turned the photo over and shut off the radio before rolling over and falling asleep.


	3. Be Mine

Hey listen, I want to thank everyone who reviewed, you are awesome...and the song is "Be Mine" by Robyn... on to the good stuff ok so hope you like it...R/R

Chapter 3

"Jude..please just get up..you cannot stay in bed the rest of your life..aren't you bored? Come on just get up...I'll make J-shaped pancakes...ok...sound good." Jude shifted in bed to get farther away from from Sadie. When that didn't work she tried to block out Sadie's voice with a pillow, but it was no use she could still hear. The more she thought about it the more she realized Sadie was right. I can't stay in bed, I am Jude Harrison, I don't fall apart when someone breaks my heart..alright so maybe the first couple times...but not anymore. I am going to the go to the studio...after I get some more sleep.

"Jude..I have to go to work, there is food down in the fridge if you're hungry...think about getting out of the house, it doesn't have to be Gmajor, but you should really do something..ok?" Sadie gave Jude one of her usual worried glances and walked over to the door.

"...He left Jude..he walked away..wishing he was back is no good, you just have to put on a smile and live you life, eventually you will get over him...ok." Sadie closed the door behind, leaving Jude to contemplate her statment. Jude sat there for a long time before she pulled out her note book and started writing. She wrote for what seemed like hours. She finally dropped her pencil and ran out the door.

"Ah, Miss. Harrison, nice of you to show up." Jude entered Gmajor, landing her face-to-face with an annoyed looking Liam.

"Listen Li..." Jude rolled her eyes, she didn't need this.

"Save it, follow me, Darius wants to see you, personally I said he shouldfire you in person, then maybe we can call security." Jude swallowed the lump in her throat, as she fell in line behind Liam.h

"Liam's cheerful attitude prevails." Jude mumbled.

"I am not deaf, Miss Harrison." Liam didn't bother looking back as they reached Darius's office.

"Alright...got it T, I want you to do it...and make it soon..." Darius looked up from the phone, noticing Liam standing in the doorway. "...ok.got to go...Liam what's up..." At this point he noticed Jude. _Did he just say T. as in Tommy Quincy the only person I have ever heard him call T. If it was what should he do soon?..um.._ Jude was pulled from this thought... "...Jude, where have you been? The way I see artists who hit number 1 don't usually disappear for months without letting management know...Jude what is this? First the release party now three months with no word...where ya been?"

"I had some stuff to take care of...personal stuff."

"Look..Jude whatever is going on is affecting this company so unless you have come up with a lot of new songs, your personal stuff is gonna be public. Got it?"

"Yeah...I did write alot." _Just not songs_

"That's my star. Alright, Kwest is working in studio A, go make me another hit record."

Darius watched Jude walk slowly from the room shutting the door behind her. She walked even slower to the studio, she had just lied to Darius, she had only wrote one song...one...not a lot..but one...she was trying to come up with at least some thing she could come up with, when bumped into someone...

"Hey, you finally took my advise...what's up? Wait...Darius didn't fire you, did he?...Jude..Jude..?"

"Oh..Sadie, sorry, I'm a little distracted...no Darius _didn't_ fire me, but I have to write 'a lot' of songs before I hit studio A."

"Jude. Calm down...you can take your time just go to the studio, and work with Kwest...it will be fine."

"Thanks Sades...I am just a little nervous, back in the studio after three months, with no producer, and no songs..I just..." Sadie looked at Jude, expectantly as if she were going to tell her the full reason she has been depressed these past months.

"Jude..over here, you ready?" Kwest popped his head out of studio A.

"Yeah, be right there Kwest." He smiled at Sadie before turning back into the studio. "Thanks again Sadie, we can talk later..right?"

"Yeah, of course." Sadie was slightly annoyed by Kwest's interruption, but she could never stay mad at him, and she was happy Jude was out of bed and wanted to sing.

"So...how's it going?" Kwest looked up from the soundboard as Jude slid open the studio door.

"Ok...I...uh...I-I just wrote a song this mourning that I wanna record." Kwest could tell Jude really didn't want to talk about Tommy or herself, so he nodded and turned back to the soundboard.

After spending half of the day laying down the music, Jude stepped into the recording booth for the first time in more than three months.

"Ok superstar, you ready?"

"...uh...yeah...ok."

"Ok..._Be Mine_ take one."

Jude stood there trying to sing but the words would not come out.

"...Jude...you ok? We can take a break...I mean we just started but if you want.." Kwest was cut off by Jude singing. She was off the music, but there was something about the way she was singing, Kwest felt, that if he stopped her, she would never be able to start again.

_It's a good thing tears never show in the pouring rain  
As if a good thing ever could make up for all the pain  
There'll be no last chance to promise to never mess it up again _

Jude began to tear up, but she couldn't stop, she couldn't, she had to get this out.

_Just the sweet pain of watching your back as you walk  
As I'm watching you walk away  
_The tears poured down her cheeks, as Kwest looked on helplessly.

_And now you're gone, there's like an echo in my head  
And I remember every word you said _

Jude had closed her eyes in an defeated attempt at stopping the tears, and did not notice, Darius, Liam, Sadie, Mason, Portia, and Jamie sneaking into the studio.  
_It's a cruel thing you'll never know all the ways I tried  
It's a hard thing, faking a smile when I feel like I'm falling apart inside_

She also did not seem to notice that they started to tear up as she went on with the song. (Except for Liam, you know there was probably just something in his eye...DON"T LOOK AT HIM!)  
_And now you're gone, there's like an echo in my head  
And I remember every word you said _

Everyone in the studio knew who the song was about, what it was about, and now they knew a basic outline of Jude hurt.  
_But you never were, and you never will be mine  
No, you never were, and you never will be mine _

They all looked throught the glass watching as Jude cried out all of her bottled emotions.

_For the first time, there is no mercy in your eyes  
And the cold wind is hitting my face and you're gone _

Jude continued to sing remembering everthing about Tommy, and their last meeting.

_And you're walking away (away)  
And I am helpless sometimes  
Wishing's just no good  
'Cause you don't see me like I wish you would  
_Darius looked over at Jude, feeling a little guilty about pressuring her to get back to the studio, and telling Tommy to stoy being a baby and talk to her.  
_'Cause you never were, and you never will be mine  
No, you never were, and you never will be mine _  
Jamie and Mason watched as their bestfriend cried her heart out into the mic. killing them more with every note she sang.  
_There's a moment to seize everytime that we meet  
But you always keep passing me by  
_Liam looked at her with newfound recognition, as though his doubts were washed away by her tears. (although if you asked him, he would probably say differently)  
_No, you never were, and you never will be mine  
'Cause you never were, and you never will be mine  
No, you never were, and you never will be mine _

Sadie stared at her sister with the same worry she always had, the only difference now was there was a terror of loosing Jude to depression lurking underneath.  
_'Cause you never were, and you never will be mine  
No, you never were, and you never will be mine  
_Portia could not think of anything, Jude had become a good friend, and little sister to her. She had disapproved of Jude's crush on Tommy, but she realized now watching Jude sing, that her feelings went so much deeper than just some teenage crush, Jude was in love with Tommy.  
_There's a moment to seize everytime that we meet (hey, yeah)  
But you always keep passing me by _

At this point everyone was pretty much bawling, Jude's face was covered in tears, yet she continued to sing every emotion she had into the song.  
_No, you never were, and you never will be mine  
'Cause you never were, and you never will be mine  
(You never were, and you never will)  
You never were and you never will be mine  
_Liam had left to go...um...check on something. Everyone outside the studio saw his hasty exit from the studio and heard the song drifting from the open door. Each person had stopped their work to listen to the tearful voice singing the heartbreaking lyrics.  
_There's a moment to seize everytime that we meet  
But you always keep passing me by  
_Jude's phone began to ring as she cried out the final lyrics. Although not a single person paid attention to it.  
_No, you never were, and you never will be mine_

She open her eyes to dozens of faces staring at her tear stained face, she couldn't look at them. She heard the ringing and reached for the phone.

"Hello..." she said through sobs.

"Jude..Hey...uh we need...to talk." The person on the phone clearly seemed uncomfortable.

"Tommy..."


	4. Hated Excuses

Hey again, the reviews I got were amazing thank you, you all are so awesome...again I do not own IS or the song "Be Mine"...Anyways, hope you like it...Please R/R

Chapter 4

"...Tommy?"

Everyone stared at Jude, wondering what she was going to do...they each looked like they expected some different reaction from her.

"...Yeah..Jude it's me, can we talk?"

"...Talk?...you want to talk? Wow, you seem to be growing up, I thought you ran away so you didn't have to talk..." Every syllable she spoke sounded with distain and heartache. She remembered her audience, she looked up, but the studio had emptied.

"Alright..I deserved that...but I really need to talk with you, I talked to Kwest, Darius and got messages from Sadie..."

"What, so you talked to everyone but me?" He could clearly hear the hurt and anger in her voice, and it killed him that it was him who did this to her.

"Jude it's not like that, I am coming back and I need to talk to you before I...can you just see me?" She got up from the stool and walked to the studio door.

"Wait, what do you mean 'see me', how am I supposed to...T-Tommy..." Jude shut the studio door as she looked up to see everyone had turned their attention from her to the guy in the doorway.

"...Hey Jude..." He said completely ignoring the attention, and focusing on Jude.

Jude stood there speechless

"Wow...this is probably the first time I have seen you at a loss for words." Trying to make light of the situation.

"I cannot believe you are going to stand there and joke, after what you did." The people had stood off to the side as if it were a battlefied, staring from Tommy back to Jude and then back to Tommy. Jude just looked into his beatiful eyes, trying to keep that anger and hate that she had for him.

"Jude, I..." She regained her anger.

"No, Tommy, you left, without any explanation, you do not just come back and expect me to go weak and forgive you do you? News flash it doesn't work like that." The tears had stopped and rage filled her eyes, although Tommy could still see the pain.

"Of course I didn't expect that, but I had hoped we could talk, maybe somewhere, a little less crowded" Finally taking note of their audience.

"No, Tommy I am done with you. You might as well stayed away...I'm done" Her words stung Tommy more then he thought they would...however, he had noticed that she had faultered in her statement. He looked down as she continued. "I'm done destroying myself because you left..done Tommy." She ran from the room, the tear sprining back to her eyes.

Tommy looked back up as she ran, he just stood there as everyone stared at him. Then he felt a push from behind, he looked back to see Kwest and Sadie, both nodding the direction which Jude had run.

Tommy walked the familiar path to the alley where they shared there first mutual kiss, and later fought over the past. He opened the door half expecting the see Jude leaning on the railing crying, but there was nothing, she was no where to be seen.

Tommy ran to the parking lot, Jude's car was gone. He walked back into the studio, everyone was still standing around talking over the past moments, Tommy walked through the crowd avoiding their gaze as he made his way to studio A. He closed the door behind him and fell into the chair at the soundboard. He was home, only it didn't feel like home, Jude wasn't in the booth stopping the billionth recording to argue with him about the cord progession, or the lyrics which was were already perfect. He felt lost. He slammed his fist down on the soundboard, jumping as he heard a piano start. He looked down at the machine to see Kwest scribbled writing _Be MineJude H._ He took in the beat as he waited for her angelic voice.

_It's a good thing tears never show in the pouring rain  
As if a good thing ever could make up for all the pain  
There'll be no last chance to promise to never mess it up again _

_Just the sweet pain of watching your back as you walk  
As I'm watching you walk away _

_And now you're gone, there's like an echo in my head  
And I remember every word you said  
It's a cruel thing you'll never know all the ways I tried  
It's a hard thing, faking a smile when I feel like I'm falling apart inside  
And now you're gone, there's like an echo in my head  
And I remember every word you said  
But you never were, and you never will be mine  
No, you never were, and you never will be mine  
For the first time, there is no mercy in your eyes  
And the cold wind is hitting my face and you're gone _

_And you're walking away (away)  
And I am helpless sometimes  
Wishing's just no good  
'Cause you don't see me like I wish you would  
'Cause you never were, and you never will be mine  
No, you never were, and you never will be mine  
There's a moment to seize everytime that we meet  
But you always keep passing me by  
No, you never were, and you never will be mine  
'Cause you never were, and you never will be mine  
No, you never were, and you never will be mine  
'Cause you never were, and you never will be mine  
No, you never were, and you never will be mine  
There's a moment to seize everytime that we meet (hey, yeah)  
But you always keep passing me by  
No, you never were, and you never will be mine  
'Cause you never were, and you never will be mine  
(You never were, and you never will)  
You never were and you never will be mine  
There's a moment to seize everytime that we meet  
But you always keep passing me by  
No, you never were, and you never will be mine_

Tommy was lost in her voice, he could feel the tears trying to break free, he let them come, He could not believe he had caused her that much pain. When he finally listened to Sadie's messages, he laughed Jude was the strongest girl he knew nothing could break her. As the song ended he realized he was wrong.

"That was what she recorded right before you called. It is no where close to perfect, but this is only the second song I have heard her put that much emotion into."

Tommy looked over at Sadie in the doorway. "Look, Sadie I would rather be left alone right now."

"Tommy did you listen to all the messages I sent you, that last one in particular?"

"Yeah, I..."

"I meant what I said, you better have a damn good excuse for leaving or you might as well go back to where ever you were these past three months, It will take a while, but she will get over you, everyone will." Sadie looked him right in the eye. "So...do you?" Tommy stared back contemplating her statement.

"Do I what?"

"Have a damn good excuse." Tommy started staring at the ground

"I...I should talk to Jude."

"No, you will talk to me, you are not going to hurt her again." Tommy looked back up to Sadie, scared of what to say next. He certainly never wanted to hurt Jude, He cared about her.

"I don't intend to."

"Then tell me why you left..and I will decide whether you can talk to Jude."

"Sadie, I..."

"I am waiting for the story..." Tommy sighed knowing Sadie could be every bit as stubborn as Jude. He look at her, seeing that she would never let him talk to Jude, if he didn't tell her first.

"You're a good sister." He finally said sitting down. Sadie smiled and shut the door, as she walked over to the other seat.

"I don't even know where to start."

"Well, the begining is always good." Her statement filled with sarcasm.

"Fine...well..." Tommy stared at the floor as he began his story.


	5. Author's note

Hey everyone thanks for reviewing, I know I have not updated in a while, I have writers block, I cant think of anything to do at this point any suggestions as to where Jude is going? or a reason for Tommy's leaving? I would love some input, I will try to update as soon as possible. thank you.


	6. The Story

Ok first of all, I want to say I am really sorry it took so long to get up the new chapter, I got a new job, that paired with the fact that I had horrible writer's block. I stayed up all night to update this so it maybe a little iffy. Well I don't know what else to say, but I dedicate this story to Tiff8 for getting me to sitt down and write. Thank you all I hope you like it and plz r/r.

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"Tommy, you have to find her. Explain everything, she may not believe you at first but you have to show her the truth."

"How am I supposed to do that when I don't even know where she is?"

"You know Jude better than most."

Tommy just nodded his head. Three months ago that might've been true but this was not his Jude.

"Thank you, Sadie." He stood up and made his way to the door.

"Tommy, don't screw this up this maybe your last chance."

He looked back at her lost in his thoughts, where was Jude? What would he say when he found her? What if this was his last chance?

He took off out of the studio, barely coherent to Darius calling his name as he breezed past.

He had been driving for hours searching for her, so far he had been to her house, the loft, the pier, and the Vinyl Palace, the only places he could think of that they shared together.

He searched his mind for another spot they had been together. Tommy looked down at the stereo turning up the volume, Since he had left he only kept two cds in his car, Jude's first two. Tommy pulled over as the last chords of _Time to be Your Twenty One _reached his ears and the new song started to play. He didn't hear the many horns that went off as he did his u-turn, he could only think of getting to Jude. He sped down the road, not even noticing when the dial reached 160km/h. Only when he saw the turn off drawing nearer did he slow down. He saw Judes car in the driveway and pulled around slowly so as not to make a sound and scare her.

He opened the door two reveal the quite country living room,

"Jude, I need to talk to..."

He turned the corner just as her fist came in contact with his cheek. It didn't hurt so much as leave him speechless.

"I have wanted to do that since, I don't know when."

"Jude..."

"No you don't get to say anything. Everytime, I fall for it everytime, the smile, the eyes, the charming words. Not anymore, do you hear me Tom Quincy, not anymore. I Know if I let you talk, you will just say something beautiful and fake, and I will fall for it. I am not a pet you can just lead where you will." He could hear the intensity in her voice, and knew she was close to breaking. He just wanted to end her pain.

"Jude I don't think of you as a pet..."

"Why can't you just go away Quincy...Just go...away." The tears started to pour down her face. Tommy resisted the urge to brush them away, knowing that it would just enhance both their pain.

"I will go away, I will, I you just permitt me to tell you why I left..."

She would not look at him, most times this would scare him but he found it easier to tell her his story, without her looking at him expectantly.

"When...well...what I'm trying to say is..."

"Just spit it out Quincy." She looked up at him, anger in her eyes, softening as she took in his features, but still retaining thier cold exterior. Tommy looked down, willing himself to speak.

"Do you remember, a man coming up to me as you were singing, that last day, when..." He was about to mention their would be date, but could not bring himself to say it, realizing all the chances he has missed already. He looked up at Jude, waiting for her responce. She just contiued to stare at him, giving no sign of rememberance.

"Well, he told me that he had to speak with me, and that it was very important." Jude snapped.

"I'm not...I guess I thought that if I wasn't important enough for you my career would be."

"Jude you are more important than anything, believe me when I say that it killed me to leave you. I was..." Once again he could feel the tears reach his eyes. He had cried more in the past two years with this girl than he had in his entire life. Jude sighed at his statement questioning the truth behind it. He knew he had to continue or he would lose her.

"I had told him that I was busy and if he contacted me the next week we could talk, but he kept insisting that we talk. I resisted, we argue, and then he told me why he needed to talk to me..."

"Why was that?"

"I will tell you but not yet, cause the minute I do you will be in the car and driving out of my life."

"Try me Quincy." Tommy looked at her, with fear in his eyes, both of telling her why he left and of her. She expression her face held, was both of carelessness and loathing. He swallowed his fear before looking away.

"Jude I have kid." He closed his eyes awaiting the impending slap, after a few minutes he looked up to see that she was no longer in front of him. He closed his eyes again, reminding himself to breath and letting another wave of tears flow from his eyes. He fell on to the sofa letting his emotions overtake him.

After awhile, he pulled himself from the sofa over to the door ready to go home and mourn. He had just reached his car when he noticed Jude's car behind him He walked over to the car, noticing Jude slouched over the steering wheel, He quickly opened the door.

"Jude, Jude are you alright?"

She opened her eyes revealing her tired expression.

"I couldn't leave, I tried to, but I couldn't."

Tommy looked at her, and couldn't help but smile. He was exstatic when she revealed a smile of her own. Although it quickly disappeared, he couldn't help but think that it had been there.

"Don't think that I have forgiven you because I haven't, but I do want to discuss this like adults." Tommy looked at her surprized by the maturity she was exhibiting.

"The first thing I want to know is what you mean by you have a kid?" Tommy looked her over, thinking of how he wanted to say this, he had to make sure she wouldn't run away.

"Well, I was given custody of a little girl, she is three years old. Her mother and I, we...we got together about four years ago for one drunken night, and she had a kid, she didn't think I needed to know so she kept it a secret who the father was, and it stayed a secret, until she sick last year, she told her family to find me when she past. She past away four months ago, her father came up to Toronto and told me.

"Oh." He looked at her petrified she was going to run. Her face showed fear but also something he could no decipher.

"What's her name?" Tommy stared at her in shock of how she was acting.

"What?"

"What's her name?"

"Jude, why do you want to know?"

"She is yours Tommy, the minute you found out she was yours an attachment was formed no matter how pissed I am at you, you are still my friend. What is her name?

"Maddy...Madeline." Jude smiled.

"That is a beautiful name." she looked him, he could tell that she was thinking of what to ask next.

"Why...why didn't you call, or write?"

"I didn't know what to say, how could I explain that to you...and honestly I thought you hated me and I couldn't deal with that, I was scared of what your reaction to how I left would be."

"Why did you leave the way you did, why did you treat me that way?"

"I wanted you to hate me." Jude looked up at him clearly not expecting that answer.

"You have to understand, I thought I would never come back. I thought that it would be easier that way, with you hating me. That you would get over it, maybe write some good songs over it."

"Do you seriously think that making me believe you didn't care was better for me."

At the time yes, When I got to the restaruant, I was ready to tell you everything, and then I saw you sitting there, and I couldn't. I had to make you think that there was nothing between us, If you knew how much it hurt me to dimiss what we have, as some little onesided crush that would go away... Jude, I had planned to take you on a nice date and tell you my feelings, but you know me, nothing can ever be easy I always screw it up..."

"How do you feel?"

"What?"

"How do you feel?"

"Jude do you really want to know, I have a kid now and this is the point of no return."

"Tommy you have known for two years how I feel about you, tell me how you feel."

"You know how I feel, you hae to. I can't help be smile when you walk into a room. I have to resist the urges to touch you face or hold your hands, because I just want to be near you Jude. I know I sound like I am quoting some cheesy movie and I probably am, I don't know. That's just how I feel. I am amazed by you, your voice, your personality Jude. You have been through more than most go through in three lifetimes, and because of your determination and unfailing faith in those around you and yourself you have made it through with unimaginable grace. If you don't know by now that I am in love with you than you are truly blind." Tommy looked down once again feeling as if he was going to be slapped, when he felt and heard nothing he looked up expecting to see an empty room. He saw Jude standing there the tears rushing down her face, and this time he did not resist the urge to brush them away. Jude closed her eyes and leaned into his hand.

"Jude, I know you haven't forgiven me and that you still hate me but do you think we could still try."

She opened her eyes to stare into his, she found honesty in his eyes, knowing he was telling her the truth.

"I don't totally hate you Tommy, I could never totally hate you, you know that."

"Why?" He knew what she was saying, however he needed her to say it out loud just as he had. Jude tilted her head letting the few reamining tears she had left free.

"I love you, Tommy."

He knew that if he went with his urge and kissed he would be going to fast, so he settled for a strong hug. After a couple minutes Jude pulled herself from the hug to stare at Tommy.

"So what's next?"

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I know it was very fluff/angst oriented but that's all I could come up with. thank you for reading plz review. 


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